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Mini Van, Man.

I have, on two separate occasions in the last two months, had the opportunity to spend some quality time behind the wheel of not one, but three Dodge Caravans.  All three were of similar specification and I believe all three were 2011 models.  All three were rentals, two from Enterprise, the third from Hertz.  I drove the two from Enterprise locally in the course of work over a four day period in the week leading up to Christmas.  The Hertz rental was used to carry a recliner from Houston to Dallas.  The last time I had driven a mini van of any kind was on a high school spring break trip with a girlfriend and her family back in the '90's.

The funny thing about all these mini vans?  None of them were absolute crap.

Granted, there was a great deal of torque steer, and plenty of understeer, and the steering in general was pretty numb, but overall not a horrible experience.   This may sound like faint praise, but I was truly impressed, and more importantly comfortable, when at the helm of these diminutive family haulers.  Much of this probably stemmed from the plethora (always wanted to use that word in writing) of creature comforts and convenience items.  Who doesn't like a power tailgate, after all?  And even better, the electric sliding doors on BOTH sides!  Those were especially handy during that busy week at work.  Satellite radio never goes unappreciated, and rear-view cameras make one look like a pro when parking.

But what really got me was, steering issues aside, the handling was passable for city driving, the ride was quite suitable for a long highway stretch, the brakes seemed up to the task, and there was more than enough power to tax the traction limits of the front tires.  But, with more than adequate performance for the school run and the convenience and utility offered by its shape and all manner of gadgetry, I wondered why there wasn't more.

The more I had in mind was more power, more control of the body motion, more feel in the steering.  Why not, given the parts-bin construction of most major manufacturers, make a mini van more fun?

How hard would it be, for example, to squeeze the 3.7L V6 and SH-AWD from an Acura TL into a Honda Odyssey?  I would happily give up the fancy, fold-into-the-floor seats for some extra traction.  Go to town on the bushings in the suspension and steering, firm up the anti-roll bars just a bit, and voila, a premium luxury performance mini van.  Lexus bits in a Toyota Sienna?  Why not?   The Sienna is already available with AWD, so all it needs is some chassis work and a little more power.  Heck, use the hybrid drivetrain from a RX450h and make it eco-friendly at the same time!  Just don't pull a Dodge and slap R/T badges and some cosmetic bits on it and think you can fool anyone.

In a time where there aren't any truly horrible cars, why not push the envelope a little bit?  It's got to be a better direction to go than slapping a walrus grill on a Fusion and trying to pass it off as a Lincoln...

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